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Hmmmm, I think I’m a little hyper/sleep deprived. I haven’t been sleeping too well these last two weeks and the last three nights have been particularly low on the beautiful zzzzzzzzzz’s. I do know that it’s likely being triggered by the fact my father, in name only, could be coming out of prison soon & all that entails. I detailed this a few days ago in Will He Come Out.

I contacted our parole officer this morning & she advised he had his parole hearing on 22nd May, but I wouldn’t find out the result for two more weeks. So I’ll be in limbo on this one until then…

What made me stop & think earlier today was, if I didn’t have Bipolar, I’d likely be feeling mixed emotions over all this anyway. It’s very hard to see the line of, is this bipolar, or is it how anyone would feel in these circumstances. I guess there is no sure fire way answer that…

I feel like I’m writing a disjointed post here, but hey, I’m knackered so sue me :)

I would like to ask anyone who has no contact with bipolar, i.e. don’t suffer from it & aren’t closely in touch with anyone with it, what their views are on how they may feel in my situation with my father & the house & all that crap? You’ll need to read the will he come out post linked above.

After just re-reading that last paragraph I guess anyone who doesn’t have bipolar can have a go at answering my question. As I said I’m knackered people.

And as ever I welcome all comments from anyone reading this.

I’ll definitely be taking my own sleep tips tonight.

I saw this on a fellow bipolar blogger’s page, BIPOLARMUSE, please read, it made me smile :)

 

Bipolar Is Awesome!.

I remember when I was in my final year at Uni (1999). My house mates & I would play FIFA 98 & we got into a habit of trying to psych each other out by playing our favourite song during a game. We’d take turns of having our own song playing (usually at full blast) & try to convince the other that because our particular song was playing we would win. More often than not that was the case.

Aaahhhh student lifestyle…playing FIFA & mind games on your friends, when I should have been studying. Those were the days ;)

Well the song below was my lucky song & was instrumental in getting me the goals!!! (at least that what I tell myself)

The Heat Is On!!

In order to get the best out of this post you must first turn the volumne up loud…..LOUDER………don’t worry if it’s on an odd number, just crank it up…..a little bit more…. there, that’ll do! Now Press play on the video below.

Why? Because as a 7-8 year old kid I used to do just this on my vhs recorder & go nuts when the music kicked in. There I was, from a suburban living room in Liverpool UK, boogieing away to a song depicting scenes of the steel city, Detroit USA!

I watched Beverley Hills Cop again tonight & got a blast from the past :)

My favourite part of the song is over within 42secs…starting with the police sirens mingled with the ticking clock…leading to the spine tingling bit starting at 22secs, to the full blown start at 34secs. This is where baby Graham goes ballistic in said living room all those years ago. 35 year old Graham did it to a lesser extent tonight. The only difference? I was drinking Ribeana back then…today it was a nice glass of red wine ;)

OK well enough waffle & one last thing. The person to comment on, in my humble opinion, the best one liner from Beverley Hills Cop will get a post about their very own blog. I promise to be gushing & complimentary only.

Comments apply to Beverley Hills Cop 1 only. Any comments on the following 3 sequels  will be ignored & in some cases criticised openly, if you’re offended by this disclaimer well that’s not my problem!

Enjoy

I found this BBC News piece on Bipolar.

I found it very insightful & the first two lines summed up how I’ve sometimes felt when in a hyper phase.

Have a read & let me know what you think. I’ve also copied and pasted it below in case you can’t access it outside of the UK. I’ve also pasted the related links at the bottom of the story, let me know if you want me to email you a copy, as I don’t think the links will work when I publish this post.

 

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Preventing bipolar relapse with web therapy

Man holding head

“I tend to think I am in a film – it’s like The Truman Show. I’m the star of the film, off on my own planet.

“It’s quite pleasurable for me, but a bit strange for other people.”

Michael, 29, from Cheshire, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after experiencing these feelings during his “most severe high” while travelling after university.

A spell in hospital a few years ago led to weekly sessions of therapy for a year which helped him manage the impact mood has on his life.

But research into web therapy being carried out at Lancaster University may hold the key to ensuring he does not relapse.

As a teenager, Michael had noticeable mood swings to the extent that his GP thought he had ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

But it wasn’t until 2007 that he could put a name to the periods of mania which characterise his type of bipolar disorder.

Stabilising his moods and controlling the triggers for his condition are a daily challenge, and yet being bipolar is clearly part of who he is.

“I’m a very productive person. I have to keep busy and stimulated. People say I’m like a machine sometimes.”

 

Michael has had 30 or 40 jobs since he was 16. He currently combines three different part-time jobs and he writes poetry and tutors in English during his spare time.

He can experience weeks of low mood too, but the extreme highs tend to dominate.

Michael says having access to an online psychological resource, which has been developed by a research team at the Spectrum Centre for Mental Health Research in Lancaster, was invaluable because he could tailor it to his own needs.

Prof Steve Jones, who heads the Spectrum Centre, says web therapy provides an alternative to traditional face-to-face therapies which few people with bipolar actually access.

A controlled trial of 100 people with bipolar, half of whom used the interactive web tool, has produced some encouraging findings, he says.

“We provided them with information about what the disorder is and strategies to improve their mood, then we looked at their experiences of recovery and getting on with their lives.

“There was a significant increase in people’s self-reported recovery. They also felt more positive and optimistic.”

 

He puts this down to a limited knowledge of bipolar disorder among GPs and other medical professionals which means there is often a delay in diagnosis and a lack of information about the nature of the disorder.

“It still takes 10 to 15 years to get a diagnosis in most cases,” he says.

“Some clinicians will just tell people what to do without giving any rationale why. As a result people are half-hearted about the treatment and it doesn’t seem to work because they don’t know what’s in it for them.”

By giving individuals more information they in turn gain more autonomy and can learn to manage their own symptoms.

Offering it online makes it accessible to more people too.

Michael has given his boyfriend and his family access to the online resource so that they can support him in managing his disorder – something he says has been beneficial to them as well.

He says being able to keep his bipolar disorder under control has meant making simple changes to his life.

“If I need to eat, I just need to go and do it. If I need to take a break from work, I have to take one.

“When it’s mental health, you can’t regulate emotions.”

He also tries to maintain a routine and a good work-life balance.

Another study being carried out at the Centre will look at how best to help parents with bipolar disorder.

“If you are living with a disorder characterised by instability then parenting becomes much more of a challenge than for the rest of us,” explains Prof Jones.

By creating a multi-media resource for people to increase their confidence in parenting, the aim is to encourage more stable parenting too.

The knock-on effect may be that their own moods are stabilised and their children become less likely to develop the same bipolar symptoms, which evidence shows is possible in families.

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Related Internet links

You Dived Too Deep

Heard this for the first time today. Loved it instantly!

Will He Come Out?

everybody knows shit happens

I think I’ve only written about this topic once before and that was in a poem type way (not a good one at that), simply because I didn’t want to offend any relatives out there. However I don’t think they still read, as my number of posts have dwindled to roughly one a month. For those that still do read, well it’s my blog so I’ll write what I please ;0)~~~

OK well basically the topic is my family, specifically my parents & why I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. Over the last few weeks I initially wasn’t sleeping great, which was OK as I like that slight hyper feeling I get from this. Aaahhh the natural high :) . After I got some sleeping pills from the doc I then started to feel a little low. Nothing to worry about, but enough for me to wonder why it might be.

It wasn’t until I was speaking to my wife this morning that I realised the fact my dad (he will be referred to as dick-face, dick-head or prick, depending on my dalliance here on in) could be coming out of prison later this month could be something to do with it. Yep, I can be that slow to realise that something like this could affect me! So after two to three weeks of pondering my offness it came to me, all Eureka like!

Now to the interesting & painful stuff of why my prick of a dick-head is in prison. To put it simply, he killed my mum about 13 years ago. He claims he can’t remember doing it & so also isn’t sure why he did it. Nice that eh? Personally I think it had something to do with the fact my mum served divorce papers on him that morning, but hey, I’m no detective. So after 13 years of him being in prison I now get to face the prospect of bumping into him in the city we will likely both inhabit. To be honest that doesn’t bother me much, the more annoying situation which is resurfacing is what do we do with the family house?

Well you would assume we’d have sold it while he was inside. No that’d be way too easy for our family! You see my eldest brother, we’ll call him P, didn’t move out of the house after he killed her (incidentally, dick-face killed her in the family house). No, he decided he’d like to keep living there. Why you might ask? Well I think the fact that he pays for fuck all except the food he needs to survive might just be the reason…now I’m no detective but…

Anyway over the last few months I’ve been meeting with P & my other brother, we’ll call him D… the good one :) to see if we can decide on selling the house. Now granted me & D may have pussy footed around P for too long. I mean nobody wants to evict their brother and see him on the street, but we probably could have been more direct in our approach to what we wanted to do with the house. Recently we were notified by the prison service that dick-head’s parole hearing is due & so I contacted P twice to meet up & decide what we should do with the house. Got nothing back from him. That’s our P, do the Ostrich & hope it all goes away.

So that’s why little old me has been having the odd sleepless night the last week or three. Meh “Shit Happens”

P.S.

For those of you who like my misadventures as a postie…Today I swallowed a midgie… ….sooooooo……that was nice!

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