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Archive for February, 2012

Bipolar WTF!

Here’s something that always makes me think & keeps me driving round that bend… If doctors can’t pinpoint exactly what causes BiPolar (BP), how can they treat it effectively?? From what I’ve been advised, BP can be caused, either, by a traumatic event or it is hereditary. In my case I have both of those possibilities.

I’ve heard a lot of stories about people trying a lot of different drugs to keep their BP under control & how frustrated they feel. The fact that people have to keep trying different medications to find what works for them, reinforces how hard it is to try & control BP. I myself take Epilim Chrono (a drug used to treat Epilepsy) which helps stabilise my mood & Fluoxetine, an anti-depressant. Epilim Chrono by the way is free if you’re Epileptic, but not if you have bipolar. Nice that isn’t it, but I won’t get started on that now! I’ve been on them for three years & in that period I’ve been off work twice extensively. So although I’m sticking with them they obviously aren’t working ideally.I’m not trying to blame doctors for not being able to treat BP as well as I’d like. It would be pointless. I might as well blame the medical profession for not finding cures for all forms of cancer. The reason for this post is to try & explain the frustration of having & dealing with BP. I won’t be able to scratch the surface on getting it across, but hopefully it will give an insight to what it’s like. If your reading this & you have BP I’m sure it’ll resonate with you. Let me know your thoughts. If you’re reading this & don’t have BP, comment away & give a different perspective

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I’ve just been reading through my Alternative Journal & one of my nephews came out with a classic line the other day, that only a kid can…

Nephew: “Mum, I’m a Scouser cos I was born in Liverpool aren’t I”
Mum: “Yeah that’s right”
Nephew: “Are you a Scouser too?”
Mum: “Nooo, I was born in Yorkshire”
Nephew: After a brief thoughtful look “Sooo, does that make you a Yorkshire Pudding then?”
Priceless!!

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Week Before My Birthday

   Hmmm, my week hasn’t quite gone according to plan… It started off well, but throughout the week I found work harder & it has affected my mood a little. I’ve been in training over the last 10 days & over the last couple of days I’ve been putting into practice what I’d learned.
   I’ve only been back in work full time for the last 7 days & after being off work for around 2 1/2 months I was rusty to say the least. I made numerous mistakes & I was taking to longer to get through the workload than I normally would. Not surprisingly my confidence took a brief nosedive on Thursday afternoon & I was very self conscious of what I was doing, which started to annoy me no end.
   Towards the end of the working day I reminded myself that I’ve got a fun weekend to look forward to. A four day weekend for a start! A meal out with the Mrs on Saturday for my Bday. A pub roast with family on Sunday & relaxing the rest of the time. Well, a part from grouting the tiles in the bathroom for the 1st time ever at some point. That should be interesting & no doubt calamitous…  Uncle Mike if you have any tips now would be a good time to call 🙂

   I couldn’t be bothered to, but I forced myself to update my Alternative Journal on the train home from work. I struggled to find my usual amount of positive points for work, but I reread what I’d written in the morning which cheered me up a little.

   Right, well this is my 1st day off for the long weekend & I’m already up at the ungodly hour of 06:00, so I’m off to enjoy it…

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Thanks For The Help

   A quick thanks to those that have given me a few tips & suggestions. You know who you are

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Busy Week

   Well it’s been a busy & at times challenging week.

   Work-wise I’ve been doing training & as the week has gone on I noticed my hyperness spiking a little. I think it was because I was cramming my brain with new stuff & well lets face it, my brain doesn’t like that if it wants to relax! I had to make sure I switched off in the evenings after work so I’d get some sleep. I was getting less sleep by the end of the week, but enough to get by on.
   I noticed my general mood dipped on Friday too, but I’ve only just got back into work full time & so add that to training & being busy, I reckon that is to be expected. I was able to turn my mood around in the afternoon, whilst still at work, by reminding myself that I’m not fully recovered from my recent episode & so I will get these feeling from time to time.

   I also went to a Bipolar focus group, as I mentioned in a post a few days ago, click the link to view it.
busy-busy-busy-stiff-getting-stiffer
I also found this challenging, even though it was good to do, & I’m looking forward to going again next month.

   All in all a good week, but I need to make sure I keep working to control the hyperness I might feel from work next week. Only a four day week though because I’m off on Friday. Get in!

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MMmmm Food….

   I saw the link below in the metro earlier this week & applied for the free TasteCard. It gives you 50% off loads of different restaurants. I haven’t actually received it yet, it can take 28 days, but looking forward to seeing which establishments I can use it in.

http://www.tastecard.co.uk/trial/metro

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   Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t been on here for 5 days! I don’t want all my posts to be as long as the last one so I’ll keep this brief.

   For the last two days I’ve finally been back in work full time (10-6, Mon-Fri) & doing training, so my head is rammed right now. I’m doing good though, as I don’t feel hyper on the back of it.

   Yesterday morning I went to my second circuit training class at the gym & dear god I’m feeling stiff today. I dread to think how I’m going to feel tomorrow. Visions of John Wayne after a particularly vicious cattle drive come to mind…

   Last night after work I went to my first Bipolar Focus Group. A nice bunch of people & I’m confident I’ll go back next month. I intentionally left it a few years to go to one, as I wanted to make sure I understood my own bipolar before I met others with it. Come to think of it this was first time I’ve met other people with bipolar other than my Aunt.

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