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BBC Three are currently airing a mental health season & last night ‘Diaries Of A Broken Mind’ was on. It focuses on 25 people chronicling their lives via a handheld camera. It was very insightful, as it literally gives you an inside view of people lives with various mental health issues.

As many of you will know I have bipolar…umm for those that don’t…eyes up to the top of the page…hear that? Yep a few pennies dropped right there 😉 Sorry I went of on a tangent there. So I have bipolar, but what this season of mental health programmes is giving me, is a wealth of information & knowledge on other mental health disorders out there.

Have a look at the episode I watched last night. I noticed the uploader’s comment on YouTube mentioned he’d received copyright infringement due to the music content in the programme. So if you can’t access this by the time you try let me know & I’ll change the link.

Let me know what you think?

I appreciate it’s a long documentary, so if you don’t have the time just click to 12mins in & watch until 13:30. This was my favourite part of the docmentary. Partly because of the amazing piece of music in the background, but also because it encompasses really well the stigma we face around mental health in just 1min 30secs.

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In order to get the best out of this post you must first turn the volumne up loud…..LOUDER………don’t worry if it’s on an odd number, just crank it up…..a little bit more…. there, that’ll do! Now Press play on the video below.

Why? Because as a 7-8 year old kid I used to do just this on my vhs recorder & go nuts when the music kicked in. There I was, from a suburban living room in Liverpool UK, boogieing away to a song depicting scenes of the steel city, Detroit USA!

I watched Beverley Hills Cop again tonight & got a blast from the past 🙂

My favourite part of the song is over within 42secs…starting with the police sirens mingled with the ticking clock…leading to the spine tingling bit starting at 22secs, to the full blown start at 34secs. This is where baby Graham goes ballistic in said living room all those years ago. 35 year old Graham did it to a lesser extent tonight. The only difference? I was drinking Ribeana back then…today it was a nice glass of red wine 😉

OK well enough waffle & one last thing. The person to comment on, in my humble opinion, the best one liner from Beverley Hills Cop will get a post about their very own blog. I promise to be gushing & complimentary only.

Comments apply to Beverley Hills Cop 1 only. Any comments on the following 3 sequels  will be ignored & in some cases criticised openly, if you’re offended by this disclaimer well that’s not my problem!

Enjoy

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Can you guess I love cats!

For those manic moments, that feel great at first, but you find sleep further and further away… here are things I do to help sleep:

Have a bath 30-60mins before I go to bed

Drink a hot drink that has no trace of caffeine. (Double check the ingredients as some decaf products have trace amounts.)

If I haven’t already, then I’ll finish my Alternative Journal.

Just before you go to bed put 5 drops of lavender oil onto a kitchen towel, take 10 deep breaths inhaling through the nose with the towel close to our nose. Then slide the kitchen towel into your pillow so you get the smell all night long. Apparently lavender produces slight calming, soothing & sedative effects when its scent is inhaled.

Cut out your alcohol intake. Its disruptive to sleep, as your body is busy fighting off the dehydrating affect. I hate this one as I adore red wine. If I could marry it…I would! Sorry Laura 😀

Be good to the wifey/partner/significant other & ask if they wouldn’t mind giving you a massage 😉 Probs best if you don’t mention you prefer alcohol to them!

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Started typing at 12:34


30hrs and counting
 since I’ve slept.

I now have that slight ringing in the ears from sleep deprivation. You know the one, similar to when you’ve been out at a club & your ears are ringing from the loud speakers. In my teens & twenties I would have said simply speakers, but now I’m 34 they’re LOUD speakers!

My mood is good though, aaahh the natural high of bipolar mania, you’ve not been around for a while! “Yes I have, but you keep sleeping, damn you!”

So, this post will be roughly about how I feel when hyper & the things I do to try & dial down the potential crazy. I say potential, as I’m not quite there yet. Gimme another night of no sleep & the poor wife will have her hands full of my verbal diarrhoea
 Oh, the ‘Started & Finished Typing at’ is to show how long it takes me to compose my whirring brain & splurge it across the page. Most of my posts normally take between 5 & 30 mins to write.

So I gave up the ghost of trying to sleep at around 04:00 & so I decided to have a bath & read my book. I know how today will pan out. I’ll feel good mood wise all day & I’ll enjoy the feeling of being extra
 well extra pretty much everything :)

I went to the gym earlier & swam a little & then settled in the whirlpool to relax close my eyes & think of, well, relaxing stuff. At which point my inner voice decides to go into overdrive & have arguments with all & sundry. Does anyone else do this? Whereby your mind just decides “Right I’m going to argue with such a person, who has recently been a pain in your arse”. Literally I can be sat all placid like from your perspective looking in, but in my head I’m running through past or potential arguments with a friend, work colleague or family member.

Sometimes my wife will catch me using my hands, whilst I’m mid flow (arguing in my mind people, keep it clean) & ask “you OK hon”. To which I’ll sheepishly come out of my head rant & smile coyly & say yeah “I’m just arguing in my head again”. Leading to Wife rolling eyes & muttering “Nutter” or “What you like” or “Jesus, here we go”. Well come on she’s right on the nail there. Up until this point I’ve usually spoken to her about space & the universe & what it is? I mean it must end, cos nothing can go on forever & if it does end is it like a brick wall or another layer of atmosphere & if we do get there will it just start the universe again or is our universe one of many & we’ll slip into an alternate reality where we’ll be watching a fucking boring film about everyday lives of people in an alternate reality who actually watch other peoples lives on TV & pay for the privilege while our hero Neo is fighting the machines to save humankind *Breathes* & then I meander onwards to more diarrhoea, whilst the poor, light of my life (she really is) is clutching at her ears, trying to dig out the drums just to mute me.

OK, so you see how my wife could justifiably kill me right? So what I need to do is this:

  • Stop the caffeine
  • Leave the computer alone, as my poor HP Tower is currently visualising throwing me through a window. I’ve noticed being on a computer feeds my mania. Strange, but true.
  • Write in my Alternative Journal.
  • Drink some Camomile tea to help calm my inner voice & slooowww mmmeeee doooowwwwnnnnnn
  • Stay awake until bed time so I don’t fall into a weird sleep pattern. If I do sleep, just power nap for 40mins.
  • Read my book. Reading helps to relax me.
OK, this will do for now. I still feel good, but that damn ringing is still there
gggrrrr. Leaving the computer now
 it’s getting angry :(
FINISHED TYPING AT 13:38

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I read a blog yesterday, well when I say read I listened to it as it was a vlog. However after I was about to link to it here I see it’s been removed as the creator felt the lighting was wrong. Well Jaen Wirefly I think you should put it back up as this post has been inspired by it 🙂

Basically in the vlog she spoke about how we in the mental health blogging community tend to post a lot about how we feel when we’re low, but there aren’t many posts out there about what we do to try & keep healthy.

So here is a little of what I do:

– I use an Alternative Journal. I’ve found it really helpful, click on the link to see more.

– I have bipolar & so sleep is an important part of staying healthy. Here are some things that help me when I get into a rut of not sleeping well.

– A couple of tips when you’re feeling a tad hyper during the day.

– I’ve found Yoga to be really effective. I’m sure it would help a lot of you guys out there.

– In this post I explain some things I’d done recently as I was feeling fairly low.

– I think alcohol should be a big warning light to anyone with mental health issues. I’m not saying don’t drink, but as its a natural depressant be very careful on the amount you drink. It’s such a sneaky drug as you I feel great when I’m drunk, but the negative effects the day(s) after are a bitch!

OK well that’s enough of me preaching how to care of ones self. Hope you have found some useful tips in here. Let me know if you’ve found this useful in any way?

Again a big thanks for Jaen Wirefly for bringing this up.

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I’ve reposted this & will continue to do so as I believe it’s important.

My family Dr didn’t diagnose my bipolar & wasn’t at all flexible. By that I mean, when I booked an appointment at the surgery I had to book roughly two weeks in advance & even then I wasn’t guaranteed to see him. Although this was the Surgery policy, when I mentioned this to him his reply was “Well we’re a busy surgery.”

I find that my hyper phases usually only last for short periods, roughly 5-7 days. If I could see my own Dr within a couple of days of these hyper cycles starting, I probably would have been diagnosed a lot sooner. Instead, I had to wait either a couple of weeks to see him, (by then my mood would have changed) or I would see a Dr who didn’t know me, making it very difficult for them to spot Bipolar symptoms. Since 2001 my Dr had simply diagnosed me with depression and prescribed only anti-depressants (which can be dangerous for someone with Bipolar).

In 2009, after a particularly bad episode, I was referred (not by my own Dr I might add) to a Psychiatrist & finally diagnosed with Bipolar disorder.

In 2010, I attended an open surgery as I was having an episode and was struggling with my symptoms. I was given an appointment with a Dr who understood Bipolar & appreciated the importance of continuity of care. She advised me she would be able to fit me in whenever I was having an episode & needed to see a Dr, all I had to do was leave a message with the surgery receptionist & she would try & see me the same day. I have been under the care of this Dr now for approx a year & half & she has been true to her word. If I am struggling with my Bipolar symptoms, I call the surgery & nine time out of ten, I will see her the same day. If she is unable to see me (which is very rare) she will call me & we will have a consultation over the phone & discuss the best course of action to take. Over the past 12 months, this Dr has got to know me & my symptoms which has been instrumental in helping me manage my Bipolar.

I’ve been told that Bipolar usually requires a number of visits to the Dr to be diagnosed, as the highs & lows can take years to manifest, but I do think eight years is taking too long. Therefore, I would encourage anyone who believes they may have Bipolar to see the same Dr, as they will learn to understand what your general mood is like & what a hyper/depressed mood is for you. Also, I can not stress enough how much continuity of care has helped me manage my Bipolar symptoms on a day to day basis.

I think it is really important that you choose a Dr you’re comfortable with, as you need to be open & honest about how you’re feeling. Until I asked if I could switch doctors I didn’t even know it was possible to do so.

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I saw another blogger do this recently & thought it was a good idea. So, I’ll share a few things about me. The blogger was Lexi from the Thee Truth Is.

I’m 34.

I have two older brothers.

I’m married.

I have two cats.

I support Everton Football Club (Football Lexi, NOT Soccer).

I have Bipolar Type II.

I have two nephews who are the best.

I drink alcohol occasionally due to my bipolar.

I enjoy reading Crime & Sci Fi novels.

I can’t wait to go & see The Avengers with the wife.

My best friend supports Liverpool Football Club. Both Everton & Liverpool are from the city of Liverpool.

I have forgiven him for this.

I like to swim & generally do so every day.

Ummm there is much more, but I’ve ran out of writing juice.

If you want to know more drop a question below.

If you do tell me two things about you…

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