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Archive for June, 2013

I read this on Bipolar Out Load. It’s a great article Nellie has written about, well, ‘Building Your Own Happiness’. I sometimes struggle to read large posts, as this one is, but it’s definitely worth reading part of it, leaving it & then coming back to read the rest.

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The guitars say it all in this song. I can never make out the lyrics & to be honest I don’t care about them, as the music alone is so powerful. I’m sure part of the reason I think it’s so powerful is due to the amount of 60’s themed films this song has been used in.

Until just now, I didn’t even realise this was by The Rolling Stones (Yep I’m a little embarrassed by that & I don’t embarrass easily).

Hope you enjoy it.

Let me know what this song means to you & what it reminds you of?

For me it means hope. It reminds me of the Vietnam conflict. Ummm I wasn’t there mind, I wasn’t even born. Unless you believe in reincarnation & all that jazz.

Vietnam conflict fact: It was never a war. Neither side declared war on each other. Hence I use the term Vietnam conflict. So when you hear someone mention the Vietnam War, you can clear your throat, put on your best geekiest voice & say “Umm excuse me, but….” I’ll leave the rest to you 😉

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3rnxQBizoU

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Good news! I found the BBC documentary ‘Don’t Call Me Crazy’ on YouTube. A few of you requested I upload it if I found it. Here is the post I did on it a day or two ago.

Let me know what you think of it?

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YoTgHSe2irg

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I read this post explaining why people with bipolar may live quietly with it for so long, due to the stigma associated with it.. It also lists areas of our lives that bipolar can affect.

The post is Not An Island, from bi[polar] curious.

I’ve pasted below the post in case the link doesn’t work for you.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about why I lived silently with bipolar disorder for as long as I did.

There was, of course, the terror that people would reject me…

Or that, even worse, they would want to bar me from doing the things that I loved.

As much as that fear was an integral part of my silence, there was something else that I think played a larger role.

I didn’t think bipolar disorder, or the inner workings of my brain anyway, was affecting my life in any significant way. Especially when I was in more stable periods.

I thought of myself as an island, and the only parts that would be effected would be the ones that knew about this hidden illness.

Of course, I was one hundred percent wrong. My mood swings were affecting everyone around me, and were effecting my own life in a very significant way.

I’ve been attending a peer recovery class the last few weeks and early on we made a list of the ways mental illness affects our lives.

It can affect

  • our relationships (with friends, family, co-workers, etc)
  • our ability to work (for better (hypomania) or worse)
  • our ability to complete schooling (at practically any level)
  • our housing situation
  • our financial situation (both via working and due to medical costs)
  • our physical health (depending on how well we can take care of ourselves)
  • our ability to take care of others (children, pets, etc)
  • our spiritual lives

And I’m sure there are more that I’m forgetting! Looking at this list really made me aware of how many aspects of my life are affected by bipolar disorder, not just work and relationships. I know that I’ve experienced every single one of the things on this list, and not in a minute way.

I think that only after being open and honest about what I experience could I get the help that I needed in all of these aspects of life. The result? Though these areas are all affected, I am able to lead a more stable life.

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I read a post by a fellow blogger earlier called An Open Invitation, he writes the blog bipolarblogging. In the post he discusses how a lot of the search terms he has come across on WordPress are around bipolar relationships. He has requested that we discuss our own experiences of a bipolar relationship, so here is mine…

I’ve been with my wife for 14 years & married for nearly 10 of those. As with most marriages, we’ve had our ups & down, so mix that in with me having bipolar, we may have had more than most. I was only diagnosed with bipolar 3-4 years ago, but had been diagnosed with depression prior to that for nearly 10. So who knows when the bipolar thing actually kicked in.

We’ve known from the start that we love each other deeply. I’m lucky, in the sense that I’ve read plenty of instances where bipolar relationships have broken down, and yet here we are still going & more importantly still wanting to go. One thing I do wonder though, is that as there is a high divorce rate these days, who is to say that those marriages that have broken down, wouldn’t have broken down anyway, whether or not one of the couple was bipolar. I also wonder if that last sentence made any sense 🙂

One thing I do know, and it may sound clichéd, is communication is key. That was the most important lesson I learned from my parents relationship. Theirs failed, but from the get go with my wife & I, we were adamant we would tell each other how we feel. It might take a while to realise what it is we’re feeling, but we tell each other when we do.

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I watched a documentary on BBC Three last night called Don’t Call Me Crazy. It was about teenagers, ranging from 13-17 years old, who were inpatients at a hospital. It attempts to highlight perspectives from the teenagers themselves, the staff & involved family members.

There were various illnesses brought up, but the main two it centred on were OCD & eating disorders. These were focused on as the two teenagers, Emma & Beth, suffered with them respectively. There will be more episodes & I’m sure more issues will arise as other patients come & go.

I’ve pasted the link below, but it may not work for those of you outside the UK. I’ll keep an eye out to see if its uploaded on Youtube & will post it on here again to be viewed by all.

Let me know if the link works for you? Also let me know what you thought of the programme. ITs an hour long so no obligations to watch, but comment away anyway 🙂

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/bigscreen/tv/episode/p01b871m/Dont_Call_Me_Crazy_Episode_1

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As some of you will know I’ve been feeling out of sorts for the last month or so. If you’ve time, take a gander at this post, Balancing Myself Out, for the background. The good news is, over the last week I feel pretty much back on track. I’ve found out that my father’s parole has been put back until November. However the details as to why or even if he had the hearing & was rejected are sketchy. Personally I’d prefer it if he just came out, so I can get closure on all this. All putting it back a few month does, is put everyone on hold & leaves everyone involved hanging in the air.

Don’t get me wrong, in my opinion, a life sentence should mean life. Not life, but the offender the will be out in 8 years, which was initially what he was given.

The issue with the house is moving along, but still there is no concrete plans in place. Me & D did speak to P about it & told him outright we want to sell it, so he’ll need to start making plans for finding somewhere else to live. More accurately D did most of the speaking on my behalf as I was knackered due to not sleeping well. P was all ‘Oh, I didn’t realise you wanted to sell sooner rather than later?’. He’s been living there for 13 years! Personally I think he is just stalling to eke out as much easy living as possible.

Although I didn’t do much talking when we met up, I did sort out the meeting in the first place. P was still ignoring all my texts and calls. Though he did respond to D during this period, which pissed me off no end! So I took it out of his hands & went to the pub where he works :). He claimed he’d left his phone at a friends house. A load of garbage, but I let it lie, as he agreed to meet up. Know when to fight your battles & all that.

Anyway that’s the situation at the moment & as I’m feeling fairly good, I’ll take it for what it is. It’s a shit situation, but I’m handling it well, so that bodes well for me controlling my bipolar. Woopiest of woops!, a big fat Yay & a pat on the back for me 😀

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