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Archive for the ‘The Wife’ Category

My wife, who likes to keep up with all manner of celebrity gossip, mentioned the other day, that Miley Cyrus has risquéd up her image somewhat. To the point where she is being slated for being a bad role model.

So I decided to check out the video of her song, that is apparently causing the storm. Come on people she is a young woman, having a bit of fun. Is she trying to throw off her clean cut image? Who cares, can you blame her if she is. Someone called Britney Spears had a clean cut image forced upon her. Look where that got her…

This song is growing on me. I’ve only heard it a few times 🙂

 

 

 

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Concorde & Me

Concorde & Me

 

Last weekend I went to stay at the in-laws on Saturday night with Laura. We went to a wedding anniversary & whilst there one of my friends asked me to do a post centred more on me. We’ll call here Concorde. Her cousin used to to call her that at Uni, & well, as she doesn’t like it, I thought I’d share it with you all 😉

She said she wants to know what’s going on with me & although the videos I post are fine, she wants to be able to see how I’m doing. I think that’s what she said…well we were at a party & it was loud…what with everyone playing bingo! What can I say that’s how they roll in Billingham, Teeside, UK. Keith Richards just wouldn’t keep up…

OK enough procrastinating & on to how I’ve been. My current work contract runs out on 28th July & I know that’s been playing on my mind the last couple of weeks. Even though I had some good feedback two or three weeks ago, until you get the green light & you get the new contract, there is always that little niggle in the back of your noggin reminding you not to count your chicks blah blah. Happily, just this morning I got confirmation from one of my managers that they have recommended me for another contract :). So that niggle in the noggin is down to a smaller niggle & will be blown away completely when my new contract arrives in the post.

The weather in Britain has been great these last three weeks. We’re in a heatwave! Something we rarely have on these shores, believe me. Now to be more accurate, the weather is great IF you don’t work outdoors in it. I love it on the days I’m off, but dear god, when I’m in work, come the end of the day, I feel like I will melt into a puddle of…well a puddle of me basically. I noticed in the first week it was affecting my mood. My body doesn’t cope with hot weather at the best of times, so when I’m out pounding the streets delivering mail (maybe I should stop pounding & just walk. Hmmmm I could be onto something there) my body just wants to shut down.

I’ve made a few changes in the way I work to help combat the heat. I’ve stopped cycling to & from work for now & I’m using my car instead. I’m drinking much more fluids on my round, a mix of water & Lucozade Sport. So I’m slowly but surely getting better handling this hot weather. By the time I’m on top of it, it will be winter & I won’t know what’s hit me. Then I’ll be whining about the cold & rain, trying to elicit even more sympathy out of you guys 🙂

Ummmm what else is going on with me…Oh I’m off to see my brothers in a couple of hours to talk more about the house & when we’ll be selling it. Hopefully that’ll go well & there’ll be no histrionics from P.

As for me & how I’m doing? Well right now I feel good. This pretty much sums up how I’ve been for the last 10 months, with a few blips here & there, but nothing I couldn’t handle.

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I read a post by a fellow blogger earlier called An Open Invitation, he writes the blog bipolarblogging. In the post he discusses how a lot of the search terms he has come across on WordPress are around bipolar relationships. He has requested that we discuss our own experiences of a bipolar relationship, so here is mine…

I’ve been with my wife for 14 years & married for nearly 10 of those. As with most marriages, we’ve had our ups & down, so mix that in with me having bipolar, we may have had more than most. I was only diagnosed with bipolar 3-4 years ago, but had been diagnosed with depression prior to that for nearly 10. So who knows when the bipolar thing actually kicked in.

We’ve known from the start that we love each other deeply. I’m lucky, in the sense that I’ve read plenty of instances where bipolar relationships have broken down, and yet here we are still going & more importantly still wanting to go. One thing I do wonder though, is that as there is a high divorce rate these days, who is to say that those marriages that have broken down, wouldn’t have broken down anyway, whether or not one of the couple was bipolar. I also wonder if that last sentence made any sense 🙂

One thing I do know, and it may sound clichéd, is communication is key. That was the most important lesson I learned from my parents relationship. Theirs failed, but from the get go with my wife & I, we were adamant we would tell each other how we feel. It might take a while to realise what it is we’re feeling, but we tell each other when we do.

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babysitting photo: babysitting babysitting.jpg

2 Nephews + 1 over tired wifey = Uncle Graham is top notch daddy material…

To break the above formulae down… We have my two adoreable nephews, Ben (7) and Alex (5), for the weekend having an extended sleepover and my gorgeous wife Laura who is… well knackered and at her wits end, because said nephews are running rings round her. I however, am enjoying their company immensely and I’ve even helped them complete their homework already. It’s not even Sunday!

Now to quote Laura ‘Listening to you do their homework with them earlier was soooo cute. You’re really good at it and I didn’t think you would be. You’ll be a great dad’. Which is how we get to the ‘Uncle Graham is top notch daddy material’ finale part of the formulae.

Now if you haven’t guessed I’ve drunk a bottle of red wine and so this post, whilst appearing hilarious, groundbreaking and amazing in my head, is probs more accurately described as wtf is this guy on about…

Back to the post…basically I’m really enjoying this weekend with my wife and nephews. I’ve been on the reverse end where I’m knackered, the kids are running rings round me and Laura is coming across as Mother Nature personified. And believe me those babysitting nightmares have ended with yours truly handing over the kids as though I was on the run from the Black Death.

Now I’m blogging this particular post from my iPad for the first time and well…it’s thee Shiites blogging experience I’ve had to date. Apple you really need to get ur act together as from what I can tell a PC kicks your arse on this every time. That said maybe my poor experience is down to user error. If anyone can advise me on how t…..ummmm ignore the last paragraph I’ve figured how to blog effectively from mu iPad. Sorry apple! Well…I did say I was a wee bit drunk.

Ummm at this point I would like to link to notes from a she hermit simply as she is theeeee funniest blogger I’ve stumbled across. And the particular link above shows how she does a much funnier post than I could ever hope to on babysitting. Yeah, the whole post I’m writing at this moment is an attempt at humour, but I fear is failing dismally on that point.

uugghhh yet again, one has lost ones thread, which is downright careless. Errrr…..ok enough…I’m off to bed.

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everybody knows shit happens

I think I’ve only written about this topic once before and that was in a poem type way (not a good one at that), simply because I didn’t want to offend any relatives out there. However I don’t think they still read, as my number of posts have dwindled to roughly one a month. For those that still do read, well it’s my blog so I’ll write what I please ;0)~~~

OK well basically the topic is my family, specifically my parents & why I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. Over the last few weeks I initially wasn’t sleeping great, which was OK as I like that slight hyper feeling I get from this. Aaahhh the natural high 🙂 . After I got some sleeping pills from the doc I then started to feel a little low. Nothing to worry about, but enough for me to wonder why it might be.

It wasn’t until I was speaking to my wife this morning that I realised the fact my dad (he will be referred to as dick-face, dick-head or prick, depending on my dalliance here on in) could be coming out of prison later this month could be something to do with it. Yep, I can be that slow to realise that something like this could affect me! So after two to three weeks of pondering my offness it came to me, all Eureka like!

Now to the interesting & painful stuff of why my prick of a dick-head is in prison. To put it simply, he killed my mum about 13 years ago. He claims he can’t remember doing it & so also isn’t sure why he did it. Nice that eh? Personally I think it had something to do with the fact my mum served divorce papers on him that morning, but hey, I’m no detective. So after 13 years of him being in prison I now get to face the prospect of bumping into him in the city we will likely both inhabit. To be honest that doesn’t bother me much, the more annoying situation which is resurfacing is what do we do with the family house?

Well you would assume we’d have sold it while he was inside. No that’d be way too easy for our family! You see my eldest brother, we’ll call him P, didn’t move out of the house after he killed her (incidentally, dick-face killed her in the family house). No, he decided he’d like to keep living there. Why you might ask? Well I think the fact that he pays for fuck all except the food he needs to survive might just be the reason…now I’m no detective but…

Anyway over the last few months I’ve been meeting with P & my other brother, we’ll call him D… the good one 🙂 to see if we can decide on selling the house. Now granted me & D may have pussy footed around P for too long. I mean nobody wants to evict their brother and see him on the street, but we probably could have been more direct in our approach to what we wanted to do with the house. Recently we were notified by the prison service that dick-head’s parole hearing is due & so I contacted P twice to meet up & decide what we should do with the house. Got nothing back from him. That’s our P, do the Ostrich & hope it all goes away.

So that’s why little old me has been having the odd sleepless night the last week or three. Meh “Shit Happens”

P.S.

For those of you who like my misadventures as a postie…Today I swallowed a midgie… ….sooooooo……that was nice!

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I’ve recently had a period of depression & my counsellor advised using an Alternative Journal. It is a bullet point diary focusing on the positive things that have happened in your day. It is a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) technique & it attempts to change your thinking from negative thoughts to positive ones. So, rather than remembering your day & subconsciously focusing on the negative things that happened, you list the positive things that happened. With practice your subconscious should automatically start doing this for you.

Give yourself a mood score out of 10 at the beginning of your day & once you’ve written your journal, read through it, & then put how you now feel. Hopefully reading it will make you smile & nudge up the number.

See below for my Alternative Journal today.

Mood Score 6.75

  • Chatting to a guy in the queue for the Doctor’s surgery.
  • Deciding to work on my blog.
  • Spending 2-3 hours on the blog.
  • Good luck from one of my friends when I asked her to have a look at the blog.
  • Tips from another friend suggesting ideas for the blog.
  • Hearing Oasis’ “Whatever” on the radio.
  • My wife telling me over the phone “I feel ill. I think it’s because I’ve eaten too much.” She lied but we won’t go into that now :-)
  • A friends daughter who apparently keeps saying my wife & I’s name & even that our cat, Lucy, says “Hissss”. SSSooooooo cute.
  • The Sun shining on the river & the way it sparkled.
  • Had a good swim & a very relaxing steam room session.

Mood Score 7.0

Right, well I’m off to watch a film with the Mrs.

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Started typing at 12:34…

30hrs and counting… since I’ve slept.

I now have that slight ringing in the ears from sleep deprivation. You know the one, similar to when you’ve been out at a club & your ears are ringing from the loud speakers. In my teens & twenties I would have said simply speakers, but now I’m 34 they’re LOUD speakers!

My mood is good though, aaahh the natural high of bipolar mania, you’ve not been around for a while! “Yes I have, but you keep sleeping, damn you!”

So, this post will be roughly about how I feel when hyper & the things I do to try & dial down the potential crazy. I say potential, as I’m not quite there yet. Gimme another night of no sleep & the poor wife will have her hands full of my verbal diarrhoea… Oh, the ‘Started & Finished Typing at’ is to show how long it takes me to compose my whirring brain & splurge it across the page. Most of my posts normally take between 5 & 30 mins to write.

So I gave up the ghost of trying to sleep at around 04:00 & so I decided to have a bath & read my book. I know how today will pan out. I’ll feel good mood wise all day & I’ll enjoy the feeling of being extra… well extra pretty much everything :)

I went to the gym earlier & swam a little & then settled in the whirlpool to relax close my eyes & think of, well, relaxing stuff. At which point my inner voice decides to go into overdrive & have arguments with all & sundry. Does anyone else do this? Whereby your mind just decides “Right I’m going to argue with such a person, who has recently been a pain in your arse”. Literally I can be sat all placid like from your perspective looking in, but in my head I’m running through past or potential arguments with a friend, work colleague or family member.

Sometimes my wife will catch me using my hands, whilst I’m mid flow (arguing in my mind people, keep it clean) & ask “you OK hon”. To which I’ll sheepishly come out of my head rant & smile coyly & say yeah “I’m just arguing in my head again”. Leading to Wife rolling eyes & muttering “Nutter” or “What you like” or “Jesus, here we go”. Well come on she’s right on the nail there. Up until this point I’ve usually spoken to her about space & the universe & what it is? I mean it must end, cos nothing can go on forever & if it does end is it like a brick wall or another layer of atmosphere & if we do get there will it just start the universe again or is our universe one of many & we’ll slip into an alternate reality where we’ll be watching a fucking boring film about everyday lives of people in an alternate reality who actually watch other peoples lives on TV & pay for the privilege while our hero Neo is fighting the machines to save humankind *Breathes* & then I meander onwards to more diarrhoea, whilst the poor, light of my life (she really is) is clutching at her ears, trying to dig out the drums just to mute me.

OK, so you see how my wife could justifiably kill me right? So what I need to do is this:

  • Stop the caffeine
  • Leave the computer alone, as my poor HP Tower is currently visualising throwing me through a window. I’ve noticed being on a computer feeds my mania. Strange, but true.
  • Write in my Alternative Journal.
  • Drink some Camomile tea to help calm my inner voice & slooowww mmmeeee doooowwwwnnnnnn
  • Stay awake until bed time so I don’t fall into a weird sleep pattern. If I do sleep, just power nap for 40mins.
  • Read my book. Reading helps to relax me.
OK, this will do for now. I still feel good, but that damn ringing is still there…gggrrrr. Leaving the computer now… it’s getting angry :(
FINISHED TYPING AT 13:38

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