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Archive for the ‘Weekend Fun’ Category

You may remember, at last year’s London Olympics, I posted all the gold winning medallists of the British team. Well it’s currently the Athletics World Championships in Moscow & I’m going to do the same. I absolutely love watching athletics, probably more so than I do football. Now I’m from Liverpool, a two football club mad city, so if you’re not a red or a blue, well you’re viewed with deep suspicion. Much like witches were in the time of Medievalness! So for me to come out & say I prefer watching Athletics to football, is controversial to say the least.

Yesterday in Moscow our very own, two time gold winning Olympian from London, Mo Farah won the 10,000m. He was desperate to win, as it was the only global gold missing from his collection. He was predicted to win comfortably, but he didn’t have it all his own way, as the guy who pipped him to gold two years ago, was nipping at his heels all the way down the home straight.

Mo, I & hopefully all of Britain are very proud of you!

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Theeee funniest moment in British radio broadcasting, in my own humble opinion of course. I was very proud when a few years ago the British public stood up & gave the finger to Simon Cowell & the X Factor. Joe McElderry was due to pick up his Christmas number one, after winning the X Factor, but an internet campaign to get Rage Against The Machines’s, Won’t Do What You Tell Me won out on the day.

Below is the recording of the live broadcast & below that is the BBC 5 Live recording. If you just want to hear the BBC reaction, tune into the 2nd clip at 8:50. It’s a very stiff upper lip reaction from the female presenter, as oppose to the male presenter’s “Meh, it’s funny” kind of attitude.

This never fails to make me smile. Come on what did they expect! 😀

 

 

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I’m somewhat dubious if this is a hoax, but I hope it isn’t. Most who regularly read this blog will know I’m a cat lover, so this article made my jaw gape & smile lots.

I just hope they are treated well.

Enjoy

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2384011/Cute-Liger-cubs-grow-biggest-cats-world.html

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babysitting photo: babysitting babysitting.jpg

2 Nephews + 1 over tired wifey = Uncle Graham is top notch daddy material…

To break the above formulae down… We have my two adoreable nephews, Ben (7) and Alex (5), for the weekend having an extended sleepover and my gorgeous wife Laura who is… well knackered and at her wits end, because said nephews are running rings round her. I however, am enjoying their company immensely and I’ve even helped them complete their homework already. It’s not even Sunday!

Now to quote Laura ‘Listening to you do their homework with them earlier was soooo cute. You’re really good at it and I didn’t think you would be. You’ll be a great dad’. Which is how we get to the ‘Uncle Graham is top notch daddy material’ finale part of the formulae.

Now if you haven’t guessed I’ve drunk a bottle of red wine and so this post, whilst appearing hilarious, groundbreaking and amazing in my head, is probs more accurately described as wtf is this guy on about…

Back to the post…basically I’m really enjoying this weekend with my wife and nephews. I’ve been on the reverse end where I’m knackered, the kids are running rings round me and Laura is coming across as Mother Nature personified. And believe me those babysitting nightmares have ended with yours truly handing over the kids as though I was on the run from the Black Death.

Now I’m blogging this particular post from my iPad for the first time and well…it’s thee Shiites blogging experience I’ve had to date. Apple you really need to get ur act together as from what I can tell a PC kicks your arse on this every time. That said maybe my poor experience is down to user error. If anyone can advise me on how t…..ummmm ignore the last paragraph I’ve figured how to blog effectively from mu iPad. Sorry apple! Well…I did say I was a wee bit drunk.

Ummm at this point I would like to link to notes from a she hermit simply as she is theeeee funniest blogger I’ve stumbled across. And the particular link above shows how she does a much funnier post than I could ever hope to on babysitting. Yeah, the whole post I’m writing at this moment is an attempt at humour, but I fear is failing dismally on that point.

uugghhh yet again, one has lost ones thread, which is downright careless. Errrr…..ok enough…I’m off to bed.

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Well I’ve had an eventful-ish week on the job, so I’ll go through some of the funny things I’ve come across. The ‘lovely’ children of the UK have been off school this week for half-term & not surprisingly they feature in said eventful-ish-ness (I really need to stop making up words and whacking in hyphens willy nilly).

Story 1

Tuesday 10:30 – I’m walking down your typical street/road, posting letters, parcels & all manner of junk mail, when a football fizzes past my head. I turn round to see two girls, aged around seven or eight years old, giggling & whispering consiprationally. This can’t be good!

10:31 – The football bounces off a wall where I was standing no less than two seconds ago…”Are you trying to hit me with that?” I ask very innocently. “You’ve got no chance, I’m way too quick for you”. Big mistake!

10:32 – The girls, now fuelled with the determination of proving me wrong, are pinging the ball all around me. After managing to engage them with some conversation, I realise I’m dealing with some serious hoodlums. I mean, they even called me lad!

10:33 – I see a window of opportunity to get them on side when they utter the words “Ey mate, you got any Lazzy bands?” Translation…”Excuse me sir, have you got any elastic bands we may play with?” So I dig around my post bag & pass them some ‘lazzies’, thinking yep, I’m in the clear. Finally they’ll leave me alone.

10:35 – At this point I have locked my bike up & I’m going round with the post bag on my shoulders. I freeze & a shiver runs down my spine when I hear “Is this helmet yours lad?” I turn to see they have taken the helmet off my bike & are dangling it, in a come & chase us kind of way. Well I’m thinking, sod it no chance am I chasing you, I’ve got to get this crap delivered, so If I lose my helmet so be it.

10:45 – I get back to my bike & no helmet is to be seen. One of the girls is lurking about & I ask “where is the helmet”. This is met with a scowl & “what helmet?” I’m actually pissed off at this point, mainly as I’ll need to explain to work that two little girls stole my helmet & I need a new one. Aahh the ribbing that will follow…

10:49 – Cycling my bike to the next road I come across both hoodlums together & so I change my approach. “Your parents must be so proud to have raised thieves!”….”What?”…”Your parents, they must be so proud to have raised thieves.” I leave the bike again ignoring the kids, half expecting everything in the side panniers to disappear. Maybe even the panniers themselves.

10:59 – I round a corner & head back to my bike. Low & behold there is the helmet dangling from the handlebars! One of the girls even had the audacity to say “it wasn’t us it was a boy down the road.” I thanked them for returning the helmet, but added “I saw you take it.”

11:10 – Further on my round I see the girls again & one even apologised for taking the helmet. Who knew reverse psychology worked outside of sitcoms 😀

Story 2

A much briefer one this time…

I’m delivering the post to a rough estate & and a couple of teenagers around 15-16 years old are talking outside their house. As I’m delivering to their house one of them comes out with a classic line “Arrgghh I haven’t got another ASBO letter have I?” Too which his friend replies “Nah mate, don’t worry about them, it’s letters that say to the ‘parent/guardian of’ you’ve got worry about.” UK youth at it’s finest there folks.

For those of you outside the UK, an ASBO stands for Anti Social Behaviour Order. High calibre citizens right there!

Story 3

Yesterday I was at the beginning of my round & went to step over a fence…crunch…the inside of my knee impacts the concrete top of said fence. You know that part in your knee & elbow that when hit, feels like the whole socket is jarred, well that was the centre of impact. I went down like a sack of spuds!

“Aarrrgghhhhhh fucking hell”, clutching my left knee. Naturally I managed to scatter the letters I was carrying across both sides of the fence. Whilst down for the count, I look up & see a cute woman walking past. Now she did a good effort of hiding a smile at my misfortune, but the tell-tale upper pull from the side of her mouth gave that away. Kindly she asked if I was ok, but she didn’t even break stride.

A woman rushed out of her house thinking I’d had a heart attack or something. I didn’t think it prudent to suggest that if you see someone fall down holding their knee, the likelihood of a heart attack is remote. Instead I laughed, trying to force the embarrassment from my face & said it was my own bloody fault for cutting short & stepping over the fence.

What made me really smile was I’d watched Blood Diamond the night before. I really don’t think I’d do well in such war torn situations. You know, what with me going down with an innocuous hit to the knee…

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I remember when I was in my final year at Uni (1999). My house mates & I would play FIFA 98 & we got into a habit of trying to psych each other out by playing our favourite song during a game. We’d take turns of having our own song playing (usually at full blast) & try to convince the other that because our particular song was playing we would win. More often than not that was the case.

Aaahhhh student lifestyle…playing FIFA & mind games on your friends, when I should have been studying. Those were the days 😉

Well the song below was my lucky song & was instrumental in getting me the goals!!! (at least that what I tell myself)

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In order to get the best out of this post you must first turn the volumne up loud…..LOUDER………don’t worry if it’s on an odd number, just crank it up…..a little bit more…. there, that’ll do! Now Press play on the video below.

Why? Because as a 7-8 year old kid I used to do just this on my vhs recorder & go nuts when the music kicked in. There I was, from a suburban living room in Liverpool UK, boogieing away to a song depicting scenes of the steel city, Detroit USA!

I watched Beverley Hills Cop again tonight & got a blast from the past 🙂

My favourite part of the song is over within 42secs…starting with the police sirens mingled with the ticking clock…leading to the spine tingling bit starting at 22secs, to the full blown start at 34secs. This is where baby Graham goes ballistic in said living room all those years ago. 35 year old Graham did it to a lesser extent tonight. The only difference? I was drinking Ribeana back then…today it was a nice glass of red wine 😉

OK well enough waffle & one last thing. The person to comment on, in my humble opinion, the best one liner from Beverley Hills Cop will get a post about their very own blog. I promise to be gushing & complimentary only.

Comments apply to Beverley Hills Cop 1 only. Any comments on the following 3 sequels  will be ignored & in some cases criticised openly, if you’re offended by this disclaimer well that’s not my problem!

Enjoy

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