If you want this award you can obtain your very own by visiting Various and Sundry Nonsense. It appears I’m unawardable, so when I find these gems I latch on like a crocodile clip to a nipple!
And yet another award…this one is for awarding those “special” people. You know…the ones you want to slap, but you’re above all that.
The Story Of The Hertz Donut
A snotty rich man came to a car dealership, picking and arguing and generally dismissing every car the harried salesman could show him. Finally, having had enough, the salesman sighed, theatrically, and shook his head. ”I don’t know…only thing I can think of is the new Hertz Donut…but you wouldn’t be interested in that. Here, let’s go look at this one.”
The rich man was intrigued, and as he walked behind the salesman, he stated “Enough! I want to see the Hertz Donut!” The salesman stopped, and looked back with a surprised look. ”You do? It’s pretty expensive…” ”I can afford it…I can afford anything I want!” sniffed the rich man. ”Now show me, or I’ll buy this miserable place just so I can fire you.”
The salesman turned away so that the man couldn’t see the gleam in his eyes, and nodded. ”Alright then…I guess I’ll have to show you. We keep it around back…” He began walking around the building, the rich man close on his heels. They approached a small locked shed, which the salesman unlocked and gestured the rich man to come forward, to look.
As he moved forward, the salesman moved back, making sure he was out of sight of the security camera’s…and as the rich man was peering into the dark shed, the salesman reared back and delivered a strong kick right at the rich mans richly trousered rear end. He tumbled forward, scrambled up with an outraged look on his face. ”What in the hell was that for?”
The salesman just grinned, standing there, hands in his pocket, as he said… “Hurts, don’t it?”
So, yeah. To claim this award there are a few questions to answer. You can either answer them here in the comments or somewhere else and link to it.
5 attitudes you hate/dislike
- The Teenage ‘I hate you’ attitude to those they really love. Yes your hormones are coursing through your gangly awkward, but seriously stop being a feckless drama queen!
- The famous Bad attitude (sorry I’m struggling here).
- A dig at the truly aesthetically pleasing on the eye. “Humph, I just want to meet a man/woman who likes me for me & not just because I’m gorgeous”. Poor poor you. You really should get your head out of your arse & see the world!
- Those bosses we’ve had or seen that are always right. An old one of mine actually said to me once, “I never apologise, it’s a sign of weakness!”
- The attitude that cats are unfriendly & generally horrible. You’re a tool. Try getting one & actually caring for it. You’d be shocked how much affection they show to you & few others. It’s a really unique bond. Granted they’ll eat you if you die first, but hey we all get hungry!
5 pet peeves
- The oh so lovely fellow public transporter listening to their music on their earphones oh so quietly!!! I swear one day I’ll bring a pair of scissors & just snip away to my hearts content. If only to see their expression, when what I’ve done dawns on them.
- People who hurt animals
- People eating noisily at the cinema
- When you get back to work after a bout of whatever mental quirk you have & to your colleagues everything is now as it was. For example “oh, you’re back, excellent here is your outstanding workload that we’ve helped you do” Aaaahhh yes, but why the fuck are you passing it to me, surely if you’ve done it, there is no need to play pass the parcel with completed work!! It’s a quirk with mental health, that when people do get back to work it’s easy to forget they’re not necessarily better or fully recovered. I’ll hold my hands up, as I’m sometimes guilty myself.
- Trying to think of a 5th pet peeve.
5 annoying quirks
- See pet peeves above. I’m copping out, I know.
5 people/types of people you’d like to Gibbs-slap*
( *pop on the back of the head with an open hand )
- The people who decide on the society we live in. I know we generally have a form free will & a diverse global society & all that guff. But if about 5-10% of people have 80-90% of global wealth, in my opinion they dictate a lot of what goes down on this lovely mudball we call Earth (which is by the way a god awful name for a planet). So why do we still have kids starving t death & drinking dirty water.
- Those who disagree to the above unless you have a good point to make.
- Those who believe mental health is a new thing & an excuse to be lazy.
- Those who are cruel to animals
- God. Just to see what his reaction would be
Have fun, and happy awarding!