Here is the breakdown of how I got these nicknames.
Aged 0-10: Milky Bar Kid, Joe 90, Four Eyes & Shielsy.
Milky Bar Kid: I looked like the boy(s) in the advert. It stopped in secondary school as the Milky Bar Kid changed to curly-ish hair. Milky Bar Bar Kid Ad
Joe 90: I didn’t even watch this program, but again, I looked like said puppet. Joe 90
Four Eyes: I wear glasses…
Shielsy: A play on my surname.
Aged 11-16: Fish, For Eyes & Shielsy.
Fish: According to a friend, I had a pair of Gola trainers that looked like fish. They didn’t, but the name stuck. I hated this nickname & after I left school, if anyone asked I told them it was because I was a good swimmer Damn the truth is out…
Aged17-34: Gris-Jambon, Scouse, Thieving Scouse Bastard, Knob ‘Ed & BCOL.
Gris-Jambon: Stumbling out of the Krazy House (a club people, not an institution ) my friends & I got talking to some French lads. They couldn’t pronounce Graham. They got as far Gra, but after that it was a mixture between Gra.. him, hom, horm & many bemused looks in between. So, my inebriated brain, somehow remembered that ham in French is Jambon. I suggested my name was Gris-Jambon & one of the French guys (I swear to this day, I saw the light go on inside his head) said “Aahhhh Gra-ham yes?”
Scouse: I’m from Liverpool & throughout Britain we’re collectively known as Scousers. This was my nickname throughout University. My ‘intellectual’ friends from Uni were inventive no?
Thieving Scouse Bastard: Scousers have a shockingly inaccurate stereotype of being thieves… Many a time I walked into the student bar to a chorus of ‘Grab your wallets, here’s the thieving scouse bastard’. Aahhhh friends don’t you just love ‘em!
Knob ‘Ed: Term of endearment from my wife. Aahhhh wives don’t you just love ‘em!
BCOL: Another one from my wife. A gold star to the person who can guess what it stands for. A silver star to the person who makes me smile the widest with a wild stab in the dark…